Today I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common
Sense. Common Sense, AKA C.S., lived a long life but died from heart
failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes,
factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits
held no power over C.S. He was credited with cultivating such valued
lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the
worm, and life isn't always fair.
C.S. lived by sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and
reliable teaching and parenting strategies (the adult is in charge, not the
kid). A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, C.S. survived cultural and educational trends
including feminism, body piercing, whole language and "new" math. But his
health declined when he became infected with the
"If-It-Only-Helps-One-Person-It's-Worth-It" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
overbearing federal regulations. He watched in pain as good people became
ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly
deteriorated as schools mindlessly implemented zero tolerance policies.
Reports of 6 year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
Finally, C.S. lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy
Scouts to professional sports. As the end neared, C.S. drifted in and out
of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable
regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, "smart" guns and mandatory air
bags. Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted
exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed
his last breath.
C.S. was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his Son, Reason. He is
survived by three step-brothers, Rights, Tolerance, and Whiner. Few
attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone.
